The Fangirl Lexicon

brick-smashing

(n.) - an activity in which an oblong block of baked clay is metaphorically used to render one's self as unconscious and/or delirious as a particular photo, video, etc. of a gush object seems to.  The more bricks one "smashes" against one's forehead, the more thudworthy the media to which one refers.  Also known as "Inflicting masonry-related injuries".

BURM

(n.) – Bloody Useless Royal Marine – Term coined to quickly express the overwhelming and seemingly consistent incompetence of the Royal Marines in nautical films of the Napoleonic Era.

Byron

(n.) - Proper name given to the "dancing banana" icon.

can opener

(n.) - a common household tool, the use of which--in the fangirl mind--has been twisted to allow access to metal-encased hotties (a.k.a. knights; most specifically Lancelot in Jerry Bruckheimer's King Arthur).  See also seam ripper.

cast board

(n.) - 1. one of the Hornblower discussion forums at aetv.com in which the topics under discussion concern the cast of the Hornblower series.  Castboarder (n.) a person who posts primarily on A&E's Cast Board or whose discussions of the characters/series tend to be less than serious.  2. (adj.) a thread or a subject which is significantly gushier than most. Antonym: Main board.

CARP

(n.) – Catch And Release Program – a study developed by the IOWHW in which wet hotties are caught…er…examined…and then released back into their natural habitats.

Crumpet

(n.) A nickname for Jamie Bamber, who played Archie Kennedy in the Hornblower series, derived from the "Worst Feeling in the World" answer in an All About Edrington fanfic written by SeaSpotRun.  Crumpeteer - (n.) - one who counts Jamie Bamber (but more specifically, Archie Kennedy) as their primary gush object.

Cult of the Red Velvet Breeches

(n.) - Collective name (inspired by one of the costumes featured in Phantom of the Opera) for the group of fans who gush Gerard Butler.

DDoD

(n.) Daily Dose of D’Arcy – a daily screen cap or publicity shot of James D’Arcy ("Lt. Pullings" in Master and Commander) typically displayed on the James D’Arcy gush thread at Horatians.org

DRB

(n.) – Delaware River Brigade – An organization of Hornblower fans who reside on or near the Delaware River valley.

fangirl

(n.) - a female who is enthusiastic about a specific performer, TV series, movie, etc., often inspiring her to actions which might seem unreasonable to the remainder of the population (...such as filling space on the World Wide Web with trivialities related to a particular fictional Napoleonic era naval officer and the study thereof...)

flop

(v.) – A physical mode of expression of elation that resembles a seizure, usually inspired by an overwhelmingly exhilarating encounter with a gush object or some form of media in which a gush object appears.

FlopCon

(n.) – A system of measurement developed by the ODB to determine thudworthiness of a particular individual.

FlopCon5

(n.) – Fangirl Nirvana. The highest level of delight a fangirl can achieve and remain alive.

FORP

(n.) - Fantasy Officer Rotation Program - organization in which members are granted a specific period of ‘proprietorship’ wherein a fangirl has exclusive rights to a particular fictional naval officer. At the end of the specified time, however, she is required to relinquish those rights to another member in exchange for a different gushable NERN character. FORP’s flagship is the HMS Playswellwithothers.

FMA

(n.) - F*** Me Accessory - Clothing and/or accessories which are particularly appealing on a gush object thus inspiring rather lurid thoughts.

GFS

(n.) - Gaping Frilly Shirtage - Romantic 18th/19th century men's garment which has a delightful habit of parting deeply at the collar and revealing a tantalizing glimpse of chest when NERNs are displaying a relative state of undress.  Often followed by the fangirl's gaping drooly mouthage.

Gin-Soaked Claytonize

(v.) - to compose a post by quoting numerous other posts or simply placing several quotes with text in between within the context of one post.

Great Snot Debate, The

(n.) - the long-standing discussion between those who believe that whatever is coming from Horatio's nose during his interview with Captain Pellew at the end of The Wrong War is, in fact, actual nasal mucus and those who believe it is no more than a concoction of the special effects/make-up teams.

gush

(v.) – To demonstrate, physically or verbally, one’s attachment and admiration for another person., or (2) (n.) – a statement or display of said admiration, or an object of that admiration.

harsh the buzz

(v.) – To belittle another on a public board by ridiculing their choice of gush object.

HBSG

(n.) – His Brick Smashing Gloriousness - James D'Arcy ("Lieutenant Pullings" in Master and Commander)

HCBG

(n.) – His Curly Blond Gorgeousness – Sam West ("Lord Edrington" in the Hornblower series)

HoDALL

(n.) – Hopeless Douchebag of a Leading Lady – An uninspiring female performer unjustly used opposite a gush object, typically involving numerous snogging scenes to add insult to the fangirl’s injury. (Ex.: Gabrielle Anwar)

Horatian

(n.) - 1. A person who is enthusiastic about the Hornblower books, miniseries and anything else associated with said nautical hero; 2. A fangirl who counts the character of Horatio Hornblower as her primary gush object; 3. A member of the forum at horatians.org; (adj.) of or characteristic of Horatio Hornblower, the books and/or movies about him, or the Hornblower fandom.

hunkasaurus

(n.) - term for gush object who seems to be exuding testosterone.

Indy Boy(s)

(n.) - Any one of the gushable male characters of the Hornblower series, regardless of whether or not they actually served on the Indefatigable.

IOWHW

(n.) – International Order of Wet Hottie Worshippers – Appreciation society of those fangirls who acknowledge that the addition of water (in just about any form) increases a man’s attractiveness tenfold at least.

James Gang, The

(n.) – those fangirls who count James D'Arcy among their primary gush objects.

main board

1. one of the Hornblower discussion forums at aetv.com in which the topics are generally in-depth discussions of the plot and/or characters of the Hornblower series.  Mainboarder (n.) a person who posts primarily on A&E's Main Board or whose discussions of the characters/series tend to be academic.  2. (adj.) a thread or a subject which is of a more serious nature than most. Antonym: Cast board.

monogusher

(n.) - a fangirl whose gush remains almost exclusively with one gush object.

NERN

(n.) - Napoleonic Era Royal Navy - The chief source of gush fodder of the late-eighteenth/early-nineteenth centuries and, consequently, of those movies which choose to dramatize that period of history.

ODB

(n.) – Old Dominion Brigade – Organization of Hornblower fans in the Commonwealth of Virginia.

ODG (also OD'G)

(n.) - Objet De Gush/ Objet D’Gush – Gush object – Any person one finds particularly attractive. Typically, the primary such object of affection.

People Who Say "What?"

(n.) - term for those who are ignorant of all things Hornblower or cannot understand why those enamored with the series are.  (synonym: The Unenlightened)

plotz

(v.) orig. Yiddish - to burst, as from strong emotion. Often used in the fangirl world as a descriptor for a reaction to a particularly stimulating media involving a gush object of choice. ("Did anyone else plotz over that picture of Ioan?!?")

PUWF

(n.) - Pervy Underage Wizard Fancier - A fangirl of the Harry Potter movies/books who is capable of gushing one of the wizard student characters in the stories (all of whom happen to be significantly younger than herself).

Proximity Clause, The

(n.) - the unspoken, but seemingly binding, requirement under which favorite characters must be killed off for no other reason than they were 'fortunate' enough to dwell in the presence of Horatio Hornblower.

Rhumbline Guy

(n.) – Term coined for Jonathan Aris, the actor who portrays the complaining first candidate to be examined by the Board in The Fireships/Examination for Lieutenant, from his line, "They asked me to define a ‘rhumb line’…"

RSAB (also RAB)

(n.) - Random Senseless Acts of Beauty/Random Acts of Beauty - the oh-gee-he's-cute-but-I've-blown-my-obscure-video-budget-on-too-many-other-ODGs gush objects who merit sincere but temporary adoration.

RSS

(n.) - Rogue Satellite Signals - The method by which video (which has for some idiotic reason been aired on only one side of the Atlantic or the other) of interviews/programs/movies in which gush objects have appeared mysteriously (*cough*) makes its way across the Pond.  Otherwise known as "gifts of the tape fairies"

seam ripper

(n.) - sewing tool typically used to remove stitches; commonly referred to in fangirl terminology as a way of accessing hotties in uniform and/or frilly shirts.

sproingage

(n.) - the alluring spring-like quality that results as wet curly hair dries.

studmuffin

(n.) - term of endearment for a gush object who is both adorable and sexy.  See also Crumpet.

tape fairy

(n.) - an individual who graciously shares with fellow fangirls media in which gush objects have appeared.

thud

(n.) - a dull sound, as of a fangirl dropping to the ground after swooning; (v.) to hit the ground as the result of a reaction to a gush object.

thudworthy

(adj.) – Having high gush value; thudworthiness, (n.)

TNTSNBN

(n.) - The Network That Shall Not Be Named - Namely, A&E, home of Hornblower.  So called for its disappointing (and often outright stupid) decisions regarding the future of the series.

Trilogy, The

(n.) - The three novels comprising the bulk of Hornblower's career as post-captain, namely Beat to Quarters/The Happy Return, Ship of the Line, and Flying Colours.

u-nee-form

(n.) - uniform, most commonly of the Napoleonic era Royal Navy.  Derived from Captain Pellew's pronunciation of that particular genre of clothing.

unigusher

(n.) - short for "universal gusher", a fangirl who is capable of simultaneously gushing multiple gush objects.

urk

(n.) - the sound most closely approximating the noise one makes when choking on one's own drool; urksome, urk-a-licious - (adj.) - that which would provoke an urk.

VTP

(n.) – Visually Transmitted Pheromones - the principle means by which a fangirl detects a gush object.

Welshcake

(n.) – Nickname for Ioan Gruffudd ("Horatio Hornblower"), sometimes a descriptor for Matthew Rhys when prefaced with "The Other" or "Alternate".

woof

(n.) - A testosterone-exuding gush object (ex., Irish Woof); (interj.) an exclamation of enraptured delight at such a gush object.