Boys Again

It should feel differently, Archie Kennedy thought as his feet sank into the sand. The light breeze whipped his hair about his face annoyingly, but he ignored it. He squinted into the sun—the same sun that he had watched rise and set from behind bars for far too long. Now he was outside the prison walls, feeling what warmth that sun could offer between the erratic gusts of wind. It SHOULD feel differently, but it didn’t. Had freedom become so unfathomable to him?

He remembered going to the seashore when he was younger. The vastness of the never-ending beach and the ocean which stretched onward past the horizon had impressed him even then. It was uncontainable. And at that time, he pondered, he had thought his life just as boundless. But now…the lapping surf could have just as easily been a brick wall. He was stuck here. They ALL were STILL stuck here. And there was no telling what would become of them in the near future. Life was boundless—that was for certain—but its infinite prospects often harbored more peril than possibilities. What a naïve fool he had been as a boy…

And yet, saying as much seemed a gross exaggeration of his present age and wisdom. He didn’t feel himself a man as yet. He was no longer a child—that he knew, but he was unsure of whether he had reached that point at which other men would consider him an equal. Perhaps it was because he could not recall a time in his youth when he had truly felt carefree. There had been no period of transition…simply a jump from dependent boyhood to…well, to whatever stage it was in which he found himself now…

It was colder here near the water. Instinctively, he pulled his jacket more tightly to himself. His eyes drifted to his companion, who stood staring across the sea before them. Horatio was not troubled by such thoughts. He could be certain in his abilities and his reputation. His hands were clasped behind his back, no doubt daydreaming that he was on his own quarterdeck even now. Archie came up from behind him and let his eyes meander in the same direction as his friend’s.

"How much longer, do you think?"

Horatio did not move. "When the next neutral ship comes into port…"

"I know THAT…" Archie rolled his eyes and dug the toe of his shoe into the moist sand distractedly. "But when do you think that might be? Tomorrow? Next week?" He lowered his voice, as if afraid to utter the possibility. "Next year?"

"Soon, Archie." Came the confident, but not-so-reassuring answer. "Soon."

"Not soon enough." His eyes drifted once more to the scene of last month’s adventure. Wreckage from the Almaria was still washing onto the shore. More than once since their return to the prison had the two friends come upon bits and pieces of the doomed ship littering the beach. He sniffled softly. "I suppose it would be too much to hope that we’d see the Indy out there again."

"The Indy’s long gone."

Kennedy grunted his reluctant agreement. "And when a neutral ship does arrive…?" He tried to make his voice sound casual. No need for his companion to believe he had been contemplating the worst-case scenario since word of their release had come. "What are the chances that we’ll be posted to the Indy again…? Is there even a guarantee that we’ll serve together…?"

Had he not been watching for it, Archie might have missed the shock that registered for all too brief a period across Hornblower’s features. Then he hadn’t considered…

But it was not long before Horatio’s emotions were in hand once more. "You know as well as I that there have never been any guarantees. There’s always the possibility that we’ll be assigned elsewhere," he began reasonably. "But it certainly isn’t impossible that we’ll be returned to the Indy…" He paused briefly before adding, "…together."

"It’s been a long time, Horatio. Life has continued on without us." Archie made a sincere effort to curb the bitterness in his voice. "Ships don’t drift from shore to shore without a full compliment in a show of loyalty to a junior lieutenant and a midshipman…"

"Acting Lieutenant…" Hornblower corrected.

Archie let out a frustrated sigh, but said nothing more. If Horatio chose to cling to False Hopes and Foolish Optimism, that was his folly. But Kennedy would not allow himself to be so taken in by their siren song. He had endured enough to know better than to trust in their constancy.

"Besides," Hornblower added, rocking back on his heels in an exasperatingly self-assured and sanguine manner, "there is no reason to focus on the negative. We should count our blessings, as they say. After all, we are free men…"

"Sleeping in a prison cell with the door left open hardly makes us free men, Horatio…"

"You’re no more a prisoner now than when you are aboard a ship…"

"I CHOSE to be on the ship…and therein lies the difference."

Ignoring what Archie considered a very reasonable argument, Hornblower continued. "We are free to come and go as we please…" A hesitant smile began to spread across Horatio’s face. "No real duties or responsibilities…" His grin was wider now. "For all intents and purposes, Archie, we’re on holiday…"

Kennedy shook his head in disbelief. "Only YOU, Mr. Hornblower, could be abandoned at a Spanish outpost and call it a holiday…"

Despite Archie’s obviously belligerent tone, Horatio seemed to take the statement as a compliment. He smirked in response, his brown eyes twinkling mischievously. Kennedy imagined that it was the same type of expression that years ago must have alerted Dr. and Mrs. Hornblower that their son was up to no good…or would have, he amended, if Horatio had ever managed to be anything but a golden child…

"I’m going for a walk." Hornblower announced, kicking off his shoes and stockings, then rolling up the hem of his trousers. "Care to join me?"

"You’re mad." If there was even half a chance that he would look a fraction as ridiculous as Hornblower did, there was no way in hell Kennedy planned on mimicking his friend…

Horatio shrugged his brows. "Suit yourself…" And he waded into the sea—manfully suppressing his natural reaction to the water’s frigid temperature. "C-c-come on, Archie…"

Archie shook his head. "You DO know that you’re an idiot, don’t you?"

Apparently, he didn’t. Horatio ventured further out, peering over his shoulder every now and then in hopes that Kennedy would follow. He stopped once or twice, rolling up his sleeve and bending over carefully to pull something or other out of the water. Then, examining it, he would toss it back. Archie recalled doing as much when he was younger. He and his brothers would "go on an explore", traipsing through the woods and wading in the creeks surrounding their family’s estate in search of all manner of "treasure". But he hadn’t been more than seven or eight then…and Horatio was a grown man…

With nothing better to do until his friend came to his senses, Archie collected a handful of stones and began aimlessly tossing them into the water. There were one or two nice flat rocks among the lot, and those he skipped across the water, counting the number of jumps they made as he had when he was a boy. His oldest brother had been an expert at skipping stones and although he had shared his "technique" with Archie, the youngest Kennedy brother had never developed the skill to the extent of his older siblings. He had been able to do something that none of them had ever managed, though…and he wondered if he still could. Half-smiling to himself, he tried…

"Do that again!" Hornblower came splashing out of the surf to Archie’s side, managing to drench the trousers he had so carefully avoided soaking before now.

Kennedy smirked and shook his head. "If I had known you were THAT easy to impress, H’ratio…"

Indulgently, he leaned over and picked up two more stones. He tossed one at a high arc over the water, watched it for a second or two, then drew back and fired the other stone directly at the first. It hit its target with a sharp crack, sending them flying in opposite directions, then both splashed down softly into the choppy surf.

"Well done!" The childish delight in his friend’s voice made Archie smile despite himself. He half expected Horatio to start clapping his hands and jumping up and down with glee. Unaware of his companion’s amused expression, Hornblower reached down and found two stones of his own. "Can you show me?"

"Mmmm…don’t know… It’s all a matter of calculation, you understand," Archie began guilefully, his smirk deepening as he picked up two more rocks and casually performed his ‘trick’ once more. "Angles and trajectories and what-not…a frightfully complicated exercise in mathematics and physics…"

Horatio nodded eagerly…the complex did not faze him at all. "Nothing more than that?" He asked. "No secrets…?"

Archie stared blankly at his friend for a minute, "Do you want to know exactly how I do it?" Hornblower, wide-eyed, nodded again. His expression was so ridiculously trusting, Kennedy almost hated to give him what promised to be a dissatisfying answer. "I guess."

The response was so anti-climatic it took Horatio a moment or two to absorb the statement. "You…‘guess’?" he stammered.

His crest-fallen visage was too much for Archie to bear. "Look, H’ratio, if it makes you feel any better, I’m sure that the calculations are being MADE…I just don’t realize that I’m making them…" He grinned. "By all means, feel free to attribute genius to me that I don’t possess…"

Hornblower stared forlornly at the two stones in his hand, their potential obliterated for want of an "easy" explanation of Kennedy’s trick. Finally, he pulled his arm back, ready to toss them into the sea…

But he stopped…

Archie followed his gaze. There, out on the horizon—just visible to the naked eye—danced the billowing sails of a ship.

"What do you make of her, H’ratio?"

"Looks like…a schooner…"

Kennedy’s breath caught in his throat. "Can you see her colours?"

"No…" Horatio threw a casual glance in this friend’s direction. "I don’t know why you’re asking me. Your eyesight is better than mine…"

The two stood transfixed for what seemed to be hours. Watching and waiting for some clue as to the identity of the vessel.

"Still can’t make her out for certain…" Horatio finally mumbled. "…looks Spanish by the trim of her, though…"

Archie refused to even make an attempt to confirm his friend’s opinion. Experience had taught him that Hornblower was rarely wrong. There was no purpose in increasing his own agony by doubting Horatio’s assessment now only to be disappointed later. He sniffed disgustedly and looked down at his feet. "I’m tired." He said dryly, dropping the few stones that he still held and wiping his hand on his trousers. "Let’s go back…" And without another word, he began walking up the beach towards the prison.

Pinching his brow in protest, Hornblower opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it. He cast one more hopeful look at the distant ship, then grudgingly followed his friend.

It was easy enough for Archie to make it clear he was in no mood to talk. Hornblower wisely kept his distance, making no effort to catch up. Though, drawing even with Archie would have been difficult at best. The brooding acting lieutenant didn’t even slow down once he came to the embankment that separated the soft sand of the beach from the rockier terrain that covered the rest of the distance to the prison.

"Wait, Archie…let me put on my shoes..."

Kennedy halted and turned to face his friend, his irritation poorly concealed. There were times when Horatio seemed like nothing but a great clown to him. He understood that his dark mood colored his perspective—in this humor, the lanky lieutenant was hardly the object of brotherly affection he usually was. He tried to hold back his annoyance by reminding himself that his negative feelings were a product of anxieties that were not of Horatio’s making—well, not entirely… That his discontent was only temporary…and would be regretted forever if given voice. So he waited, tapping his fingers impatiently on his leg as Hornblower fumbled with his things.

"Oh, hell…"Horatio moaned, looking about, "I’ve lost one of my stockings…"

Exasperation got the better of Archie. "For God’s sake, Horatio…! Leave it. Come on…"

Hornblower’s expression darkened. "I’m not going to leave it. I only have two pairs! And God knows how long we’ll be here…" His voice trailed off as he said the last words. He looked up at Archie as if stricken. As ever, though, his discomposure was not permitted to make itself known for long. "I must have dropped it on the beach…" he said quietly, then headed back to where they had been standing.

Several minutes passed before Archie decided to join Horatio in his search. Hornblower was scouring the beach—obviously with no luck at all. He glanced up briefly when he noticed Kennedy, but hardly acknowledged his presence beyond that. The two wandered about in their uneasy silence for an uncomfortable stretch of time, each unwilling to be the first to admit just how discommoding the quiet was.

"Never mind, Archie…" Hornblower finally called out, his voice strained. Whether he was angrier with himself for losing the stocking or with his friend for his foul temper was hard to say. "It’s gone. We won’t find it."

Kennedy nodded, but said nothing more. His curious eyes wandered past Horatio’s head and to the sea beyond. The ship was closer. Not that it made any difference…

But he could begin to make out her individual sails…and her colors…

He gulped. "Horatio…"

Hornblower turned to the water and squinted. "Are those…?"

"…Portuguese, by God!" Archie exclaimed, his frustrations forgotten in an instant. A brilliant smile burst across his face. "Portuguese, H’ratio!"

A lighthearted sound came to his ears then. Joyful and unfettered, unabashedly euphoric. Foreign and yet somehow so familiar… Its melodious strains brought another smile to his lips as he realized what it was.

And for the first time in years, Archie listened to himself laugh…